So, you'd like to crew?
by Ira Barocas Naui 10126

I wish I had a dollar-what the hell, ten dollars (might as well get really rich so long as we're wishing!) for every time I have hear "Can I come?" from some well meaning acquaintance or the proverbial "perfect stranger" who learns I have a vessel delivery or other boating excursion planned. The question come no matter if the jaunt is going to take two days or three month, and, more importantly and far worse, no matter if the hopeful individual has ever even set foot aboard a floating object!

I've never been able to figure out if this happens because of "Walter Mitty" syndrome or just plain insanity. And it appears as often in the female as it does in the male, although the former are far more challenging to my better judgement before I say, more or less resoundingly depending on the look and social venue, "No." I may include an occasional "Thank you," but more often I just smile wanly, and try to get away from what is apparently a person deranged.

On some carefully chosen occasion, I will take along an extra crew person who is relatively experienced or otherwise well-qualified, but the key word here is "extra." Until I have spent time with that person myself aboard a similar sized boat in the expected conditions, I rule out being able to depend on that person for anything other than pleasant companionship. Not to say they have no tasks to perform or are not part of the crew, but standing watches or doing anything on deck without an experienced person I can trust, or myself, present and overseeing the activity is out. This includes everything from making coffee to tying a knot. It may sound stupidly cautious, but it's no more dumb than allowing someone who have read the service manual work on your air delivery system, cook you up a batch of your favorite "breathing mixture du jour," or pack you parachute just because they have always wanted to. In other words, the person is a glorified, if not paying, passenger, until I am confident they can be trusted otherwise.

This attitude, which I know I share with anyone I've ever met in the same line of work-in fact, we rarely trust each other until we've spent time aboard together-does introduce a serious Catch-22 for anyone hoping to get real world boating experience, especially offshore, if not born to a bating family, or of close acquaintance with one. But the problem for them is far less serious than the problem for a professional who allows an unqualified individual enough rope to hang her or himself, and in the process damage others and the boat.

So how does one pick competent crew? Like porcupines mating: very carefully. On many recreational transports, the bulk of the crew may consist of the owner, friends and family. In many cases, the initial interview and estimate of the trip's cost and fees end any interest whatsoever in taking the job. (It is an inside axiom of boat delivery that if the owner is aboard, charge more, and "more" goes up exponentially if the spouse and others are added. The multiple depends on the circumstances and even if well paid, there have been several trips I would rather not have made over the years. I remember one stunned pause from a new owner who wanted to move a large sailboat, recently purchased in the Caribbean, to New England when I said that I wouldn't take the boat off it's mooring without a good life raft. He didn't feel it was necessary since, as he asked, "Why do you need it? What are the odds of the boat sinking?" I explained it wasn't those odds that concerned me or I'd be in a different business, but rather the question, "What are the odds of us surviving if it did, and we didn't have one?" In any event, in almost every case, the price of the job includes hiring another real crew person of my choosing at, I should add, a living wage. The theory here is that I would like to be able to sleep once in a while. If nothing overnight is planned, such as ina coastal cruise, maybe the owner and friends are enough, but not usually.

Commercial and large recreational boat delivery is often easier, though frequently pays less than recreational, in that competent hand are often available as part of the boat's usual crew. It is not that one is less suspicious of the people you inherit, it is just that they probably know what they are doing. The predelivey survey and inventory will reveal any ringers, and even if Captain Nemo is part of the crew, the first day's run with strangers is short and aimed at shaking down all aboard and the boat itself.

So what to look for in a good crew person? Needs vary as do boats and objectives. Every time you go out on a boat, there are four complex variables to consider:

The boat itself: type, complexity, size, equipment

The conditions you expect: weather, weather, weather, and where, when and for how long.

The objective: (subtitled: why leave the comparative safety of land?) - transport, pleasure, time restraints, profit, pleasure, fish, whatever...

The Crew: whom you need to do what you want with that specific boat at that specific time, and of course, with all possible likelihood of success! (Unfortunately, the answer to this is almost never-and thank heavens for the exceptions-that great looking girl asking wide-eyed if she can come.)

"Success" is defined as everyone and everything, including the boat, getting back to land safely and as expeditiously as possible. There is no substitute for real experience, guided or otherwise. After that, reasonableness is a high priority. This leaves out heroes/heroines, the testosterone-laden individuals with something to prove, or those who covet bragging rights for having done the deed. Immediately disqualify anyone who is intent on challenging the sea or any other part of the physical world. For that matter, greatly suspect and probably reject anyone seeking to challenge themselves: suggest "Outward Bound" for needy egos (other than your own).

I personally avoid people wo are overtly "Nautical;" e.g., the types who wear Greek fisherman's caps (unless they are Greeks who fish), and who have custom lanyards for everything they have, from wallets and keys to underwear, eyeglasses, hankies, shoes and shaving kits, hanging from every part of them.

People who crew for you should be reasonably fit given the variables above. (I was once almost run down at night by a cruise ship in the Med since the person I have on watch hadn't mentioned-and I hadn't asked-that they were color blind. Fortunately, I was able to lean from that mistake.)

You don't need a Terminator, but someone who is robust with a strong stomach, not a "washboard" but able to keep a meal down most of the time, is good. Someone who knows how to navigate well is terrific. A person good with tools, and with a rudimentary knowledge of boat systems if not, as is often the case on commercial vessels, a real engineer/chief is a fine choice, unless you yourself can do the job and have someone you can leave on watch.

I also prefer normal or better intelligence-but that's just me. Some professionals like dimmer lights who will perform the tasks they are set in fair fashion without questioning. I like an inquiring mind that will do what I say first, and ask questions later. Best is someone with whom you can discuss alternatives, but depend on to carry out the job as you yourself would. That's the definition of a First Mate, the captain's alter ego.

How many crew is impossible to suggest without considering all the variables, but darned if there still doesn't seem to be room sometimes for nubile novice of the appropriate sex.

Sources -January 2000 copyright 1996 NAUI. All rights reserved.

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